How to "Brag" Without Bragging

by Craig Colby

“I SUCK at making myself look good.”

This statement near the top of a LinkedIn post was a cry for help. The author, Charlene Norman, an advisor to business owners and entrepreneurs, had won some awards recently  but hadn’t shared them “because I don’t know how to publicly share WITHOUT feeling and appearing to brag in an icky way.”

I knew I could help Charlene with this common conundrum because it’s based on a misconception. Bragging is defined as boasting, showing excessive pride. For some people this means talking about yourself or your accomplishments at all. I disagree, but for the sake of this article, let’s allow that interpretation. If that’s the case, then bragging isn’t icky. Braggarts are. So how do you practise the former without becoming the latter? The answer is remarkably easy.

Before we get that, first let me establish my credentials in this field. Six years ago, I lost my corner office job as an executive producer. I was over 50, on my own, in an industry (television) that had been imploding for years. I knew that if I was going to get any work, I’d have to let people know I was both capable and available. I created a post on Facebook about my new work reality. Over the following years, I shared pictures from great shoots I was on, announcements of new contracts, content I created, metrics of successes achieved, awards and nominations - whatever good news I had. Friends and colleagues flooded me with support. I went from old and unemployed in 2017 to having my best financial year ever in 2022.  I bragged successfully. So, what are tricks of the trade?

Lead the Cheers

First, dismiss the idea that people will look down on your accomplishments. They won’t. What grosses out colleagues and customers is the person who takes credit for everything, blame for nothing, inflates their own achievements, and diminishes everyone else’s. What we find odious is someone who only talks about their own achievements and never shines the light on someone else. That’s the braggart. That person is icky. So, before you start talking about yourself, there’s a few things you can do.  

When you see someone else post about an accomplishment, make sure you acknowledge it. Click “like” or “applause” and write a congratulatory note. On LinkedIn, if your comment is at least five words, it will trigger the algorithm that puts the post in more feeds. If the author of the post is someone you worked with closely, maybe give them a call. It’s great to be there for people when they are down but it’s also important to be there when they are up. Your reaction to good news can have a big influence on your relationship with others.

A study of couple by Shelly Gable and her colleagues identified four responses to good news:

Active-destructive, which demeans the news (“Do you get any money for that?”)

Passive-destructive, which disregards the news (“Oh, really?”)

Passive-constructive, which barely acknowledges the accomplishment (“That’s nice”)

Active-constructive, which shows enthusiastic support (“That’s wonderful! Let’s celebrate!”)

Only the last response helps a relationship. A partner’s reaction to good news more accurately predicted break ups than their response to bad news. So, build healthy relationships with people by being a cheerleader.

Own the Losses, Share the Wins

It's also important to be vulnerable. I had coffee with a colleague, Carolyn Galvin, who had lost her job a few months earlier but didn’t know how to put the news out. I encouraged her to change her job heading on LinkedIn and post a announcement with a positive vibe. She did that a few days later and received 240 reaction and 48 comments, mostly glowing testimonials from colleagues who admired her. People responded to Carolyn not just because she had done good work, but also because she wasn’t just showing up to take credit. Carolyn served notice that she was not a superficial person. People are way more receptive to your wins when you’ve been willing to share your losses.

Finally, when you do have something to celebrate, there’s another way to keep it from being boastful – talk about the people who helped you with the achievement. We rarely accomplish anything alone. So, drop some shout outs. When you do that in LinkedIn, make sure you put an @ before the name of the person or organization. This will put your post in their feed too, where it can draw more eyeballs and allow your collaborators to take some bows for their contributions. Posts like this show you will shine the spotlight on others. That’s not something a braggart does. Besides, it feels good to acknowledge other people.

Spread the Word

If you have done those things, people will be happy to hear your good news. You’ll see that they are quick to congratulate you. When Charlene posted her good news, she received nothing but praise and well wishes.  No one was put off. I’ve had the exact same experience. The most viewed posts on my LinkedIn page are one that listed my accomplishments in the 5 years since I lost my job (more than 13,000 impressions, more than 200 reactions and more than 80 comments) and the announcement of a new contract with the Aga Khan Museum (more than 11,000 impressions, more than 260 reactions and more than 140 comments).

One more thing – if you are in business, sharing your wins is great marketing. It shows that you are a high achieving professional. This is true if you are an employee or an entrepreneur. People want to work with someone who can do the job well. Don’t be a secret.

So don’t assume that people won’t be happy about your success. They will be. Just make sure that in your social media life you’re willing to be vulnerable, you’re a cheerleader for others, and you share the credit. Then achievement, and the struggle that goes with it, becomes part of your personal brand. And that looks good on anyone.